


Be My Escape (by Nat)

by cah_avengers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:29:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cah_avengers/pseuds/cah_avengers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another song fic, this time centered around Natasha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be My Escape (by Nat)

**Author's Note:**

> The song is called 'Be my Escape' by Relient K. They are a fantastic band, I highly recommend them.

_I’ve given up, I’m giving up slowly, I’m blending in so_

_You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate_

_This one last bullet that you mention is my one last shot at redemption_

_Cause I know to live you must give your life away._

Natasha woke with a start, her hand tightening around the small pistol tucked away under her pillow. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The nightmares had started to go away, and it was only once a week she woke up with a raw throat and a fisted hand.  This time, she had been transported back to the Middle East, when she had to impersonate a possible suspect in a recent case of missing weapons. Natasha released her hold on the gun. She slid out of bed and grabbed the black hoodie she kept hanging on the back of her desk chair. She pulled on the ratty pair of tennis shoes by the foot of her bed and opened up her window, easily springing over the sill and onto the fire escape. Natasha jogged down the stairs with her hands stuffed into her sweat pants pockets. She didn’t know where she was going, she just knew she needed to clear her head of the awful memories.

_And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and_

_I’ve been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key_

_And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me_

_And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go, promise I’m going because_

_I gotta get outta here_

_I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake_

_I gotta get outta here_

_And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape_

A few cars rattled down the street, their headlights casting shadows along the alleyways . She envied the way people could just go about their lives without having to look over their shoulder  half excepting a guy with a knife running toward you. Natasha blew the hair out of her face and took the left turn at the last second. There was only one place she could escape ‘Natasha Romanoff’ and just be Natalia Romanova. She’d been Natasha Romanoff for so long it was hard for her to feel somewhat normal again. But she’d found solace.

_I’m giving up on doing this alone now,_

_Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how_

_He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there_

_And this life sentence that I’m serving,_

_I admit that I’m every bit deserving_

_But the beauty of grace is that is makes life not fair_

The assassin fisted her hands in her pockets. It was always in the dead of night when all the bad things came back to haunt her. But she wasn’t one to cry because of what she had been dealt with in life. There were moments, when she had completed her mission and it was the quiet aftermath of the plane ride, she was jealous of seeing perfectly happy families. But again, those were just moments, and Natasha didn’t have the luxury of dwelling on ‘what ifs.’

The only thing that mattered was the mission. Everything else could be dealt with in a timely and orderly manner.

 

_And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and_

_I’ve been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key_

_And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me_

_And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go, promise I’m going because_

_I gotta get outta here_

_I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake_

_I gotta get outta here_

_And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape_

The street lamps illuminated the sidewalk as she got closer to her unintentional destination. Natasha crept around the side of the red brick building. She stared at the fire escape, momentarily questioning her decision. What had even led her here? 

Shaking her head, she climbed up the fire escape, mentally counting how many floors up she was going. When she reached the right one, she tapped lightly on the glass.

_I am a hostage, to my own humanity_

_Self detained and forced to life in this mess I’ve made_

_And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me_

_But I can’t ask you to give, what you already gave_

She knocked louder, hoping he would hear her this time. He appeared in the window a few moments later, hair disheveled and eyes drooping with sleep. He blinked in surprise when he saw Natasha standing on the fire escape, a small smile on her lips. He quickly opened the latch and pulled up the glass pane. She moved to climb inside the apartment, but he shook his head and climbed out onto the fire escape to stand beside her. She gratefully leaned into him, his arm snaking its way around her shoulders.

“Thanks Clint.” She whispered. Clint just squeezed her shoulder.

_And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and_

_I’ve been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key_

_And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me_

_And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go, promise I’m going because_

_I gotta get outta here_

_I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake_

_I gotta get outta here_

_And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape_

Natasha sighed, closing her eyes. Maybe the nightmares won’t find her now. She felt a lot safer than she had in years, just standing on the fire escape in the middle of the night with the only person she could truly trust. She’d survived all these years on her own just fine, but there was nothing wrong with having someone to lean on, someone she could talk to without fear of judgment.

_I fought you  for so long_

_I should have let you in_

_(Oh how we regret those things we do)_

_And all I was trying to do was save my own skin._

_But so were you._

_(So were you)_

It had taken a long time to trust people, but once you find that one person, they make you want to try again. Clint was slowly helping Natasha realize that she was more than just a master assassin. She was not alone in this world, and she never had to be alone again.   


End file.
